Bullshitgms\’s Weblog

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Chronicles of GMS, the toilet attendant

Posted by bullshitgms on July 29, 2007


Once upon a time, there was a toilet attendant named GMS. GMS guarded and maintained a toilet at Ang Mo Kio Central.

This was what happened one day.

A man dropped a 10-cent coin in front of GMS and proceeded to enter the toilet. GMS looked at the measly 10 cents and ran after the man, saying, “You should use the urinal and not the cubicle!” GMS gestured wildly at the 1st cubicle as he said this.

The man, bewildered, walked towards the 1st cubicle and GMS stopped him again, saying, “I told you that you should use the urinal and not the cubicle!” This time, GMS gestured wildly at the 2nd cubicle as he said this, and now, the man walked bewildered to the 2nd cubicle.

The same thing was repeated for the 3rd cubicle.

The frustrated man decided to forgo the cubicles and he walked towards the urinal, whereupon GMS stopped the man and said, “When you walked towards the cubicles earlier, did you not want to shit? So you cannot now use the urinal because surely your intention was not to urinate!”

The man replied calmly that urinals were used for urinating only, and cubicles could be used for both, and that he wanted to urinate in the cubicle. The man then questioned GMS on his ability to manage the toilet.

GMS refused to budge, saying “You should not use the urinal because your intention is to shit.” The man replied that he wanted to use the cubicle to urinate and pointed out that GMS had stopped him not once, not twice, but three times.

GMS then replied, “No I never said that! When did I ever say that? Why should I be concerned whether you want to use the cubicle or urinal? Why should I be concerned as to whether you want to shit or not?”

Frustrated the man decided to walk out of the toilet. GMS ran after him and questioned him, “What is your intention in coming into the toilet and not using it? Are you coming to check on me? Gathering information on little secrets of how I run this toilet? Are you trying to destroy my livelihood and investment into keeping this toilet clean?”

The frustrated man walked off. GMS hollered after him “Hey, whether you use the toilet or not, the minute you walk in you have to pay me 10 cents.”

“But I have already paid,” said the man. GMS refused to budge, and the man then threatened to lodge a complaint to the authorities.

To be continued….


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